Missed deadlines eek!!

Not sure where my head is at, but I have now missed 2 deadlines at work. NOT GOOD.  I think part of it is that we are extremely busy, and the other part may be that my mind is going a million different directions! I need to whip my butt back into shape. I never miss deadlines and hate that feeling! NOT COOL. Ugh. Thank god we had a new patent attorney start on Monday! Maybe I can pass some of my work off....

What to wear????

We have our engagement pictures in less than a month and I have no idea what I should wear? Can someone give me some ideas????  I am thinking jeans and a shirt, and then a casual dress? Brian is wearing cargo shorts and polo/jeans and button down....should we match somewhat or does it matter? The next month is busy so I NEED to get this figured out!  HELP!

Jacky's wedding

Here are a few pics from the weekend.  Jacky and Mike were the two happiest people on earth Saturday. It was sooo nice to see Jacky so happy. The second pic is of my oldest niece...she is taller than me! The third is of Brian and my youngest niece. We had a very busy, but fun weekend!
                                     
        

Time flies

Today marks 1 year since I started my job in Des Moines. I can't believe it's already been a year since I moved to Des Moines! Wow.

Man, time flies when you are having fun!

Adventureland

We took Markus to Adventureland last Sunday. We promised him at the beginning of the summer that we would take him so that is what we did. We couldn't have picked a better day to go! We didn't wait longer than 15 minutes for a  ride, and the weather was perfect! I'm not really sure what has happened to me over the years, but I did not go on 1 roller coaster or upside down ride! Brian and Markus did though. Am I boring or what? What has happened to me? I did go on the Silly Silo ride, along with plenty of other fun rides. Anyway, we had alot of fun and hopefully Markus did as well!

Off to Kahoka-not sure where that is, but we will find it....

Leaving work early today to head to Kahoka, Missouri for Jacky's wedding. I am very excited for her and Mike to FINALLY get married! I think they have been together for about 13 years so it's about darn time. I think this marks the 11th time that I've been a bridesmaid or played a fairly big role in someone's wedding! Yay! Always a Bridesmaid and soon to be Bride ;-)

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

1 year!

1 year from today we will be getting married! EEK! So much to do. Panic mode is setting in....isn't it too early for that?

I think we are going to need a pre-wedding moon! Where should we go? Hope this is a FUN year!

Food Tasting-YUMMY

Sooo the food tasting at the hotel was alot of fun and very glad we went! It was very informal which was nice because we could do things at our own pace. There was a buffet of different kinds of chicken, appetizers, starches, and steak....along with the chocolate fountain, candy bar, pineapple tree, cake...you get the point! We tried so many different foods and as you can imagine, we left feeling very stuffed and obese....or at least I did!

Jennifer (matron of honor), Karl (groomsman), and Brian's parents were also in attendance and were very helpful in giving feedback. We appreciated the positive feedback, along with the honest critiquing! The tables were all set up with different centerpieces and the place settings were different on each table. I will say we loved this candleabra centerpiece and was thinking that I would want to put that on every other table and then something smaller on the opposite.  Well, after looking at pictures of the candleabra I think it looks extremely gaudy and not really sure what I was thinking! Jennifer and Karl really liked it as well so I was not alone in this crazy thought! Brian did not like it, but only because he knew the cost associated with using them! Otherwise, I think he would've liked it as well! 

It was very helpful to get some ideas on what looked good and what didn't.  And to all the guests that are reading this-rest assured, the food at the wedding will be very good so come hungry! ;-)

Dinner with Heidi and Jennifer

I had dinner with Heidi and Jennifer last night at Dos Rios. We had a great time, except it was a little toasty sitting on the patio! Always nice to catch up with Heidi when she is in the area! Tonight we have a food tasting at our reception venue. Will report back on Monday! Have a great weekend ya heard!

Glad it's Thursday

I don't really have anything to blog about today, but I was in Iowa City last Sunday and stopped by Bridgette's so she could try on a bridesmaid dress I ordered....which by the way looked sooo good on her and sooo bad on me! I'm not the one that will be wearing it though!

How cute is this pic of Harper?!

Trashy Reality

Confession: I am really excited that I just saw The Rachel Zoe Project, Millionaire Matchmaker, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Bachelor Pad, are all starting soon! Thank god for DVR or else I would totally be a couch potato, which I do not have time for! Hey, it's good to have hobbies!

Is it weird that I am so excited for these mindless, yet great shows?

Sorry G-Nug, you didn't make the cut....

MSN had an article called "Theft Watch: The 10 Most-Stolen Vehicles"....and to my surprise a 2003 Chevy Malibu was not on there! I could only hope and pray someone would steal gnug (the name of my chevy malibu). For those of you who are wondering why I still have gnug, I often wonder that as well. I'd like to think it's because I am holding out for a really nice fancy European car...although we probably don't want to wait too long after we get married to start trying to have a baby (did I just say that?), so I am sure my dreams will be put on hold again!

Let me take a moment to tell you what cars did make the cut:

*1999 Ford Taurus-Far from exotic reasons, thieves like it because they stay under the radar
*1994 Acura Integra-referred to as "beater luxury" these card don't have protective bells and whistles like smart keys so easier to steal
*2000 Dodge Caravan
*2002 Ford Explorer
*2004 Dodge Ram-most stolen vehicle across New Mexico..the Mexican people like to pimp these trucks
*1997 Ford F-150-more of these on the road so power of numbers makes this a shoe in on the list
*1999 Chevy Silverado-parts are expensive, so parts are sold on the black market
*1991 Toyota Camry-because they last a long time, and the longer they're on the road, the more likely they are to be in accidents, the more likely people will be looking for parts
*1995 Honda Civic
*1994 Honda Accord

So looks like it is likely that no one will be stealing my car below....take a minute and admire the background....

Always nice to catch up with old friends!

Last Thursday Andy and Suzanne were in town from Las Vegas. We determined it had been 2 years since we had seen each other! We had several phones dates between now and then, but 2 years is way too long.  It was so nice to see them and catch up. It really makes you realize how fast life goes by, and the importance of making an effort to keep in touch with friends! I wish all my friends and family lived on one giant island! Maybe when I win the lottery, I can buy my own island and send out the invites....

A Lesson on Negativity

Today's blog is going to be about Negativity aka "Haters" if you want some street cred. This is not about any particular person so don't jump to any conclusions. However, if you find yourself wondering if it is about you, maybe you need to read this blog twice.

Negativity is defined as:

Expressing, containing, or consisting of a negation, refusal, or denial:
b. Indicating opposition or resistance:

2. Lacking positive or constructive features, especially:

a. Unpleasant; disagreeable: critical

b. Gloomy; pessimistic:

c. Unfavorable or detrimental:

d. Hostile or disparaging; malicious:

We all have been guilty of this to some extent-some more than others. I am going to focus on the "some more than others."  If you find yourself being like this far too often, try to think about why you are acting this way. Is there a deeper underlying reason that you need to get to the bottom of, or is it simply unhappiness with yourself or with your life, or even unhappiness with life in general. Do you even notice you are being like this? Is it intentional? Negative and critical people can be real downers, energy vampires if you will. No matter what you say, they find some way to derail the mood of the conversation. You can't even remember when the last time they gave a genuine compliment or encouragement. I feel really sad for people like this.

The rest of the blog is from an article that I read, and I find it to be helpful on how to handle this issue.

"1. Don’t Take It Personally
Most of the times, their criticisms reflect more about themselves than about you. They react in this manner because of certain beliefs and frameworks they have about life. You may think the critical person is all out to get you, but it’s more likely he/she reacts in this same manner toward other people or subjects.

2. Objectify the Comments – Understand the Underlying Message

Sometimes, I feel critical people are just misunderstood. They may be trying to offer an opinion that’s misinterpreted due to their lack of tact.  They become labeled as *ssholes even though they really aren’t trying to be.
Unfortunately, people become hung up over “how” communication is done (the words used, the tone of communication), rather than “what” is being communicated (the message). The former ensures the message is conveyed correctly, but ultimately it is the message that matters. Critical people may be curt, but we are the ones who choose to attach the negativity to their words. Critical people may lack tact, but that’s because they lack awareness of how their behavior implicate others. You may be surprised, but sometimes they are really just clueless on how they are coming across until they see themselves in action. If you are taking their comments negatively when they don’t intend to be negative at all, that’s probably the worst way to expend your energy.
Filter through their words (more importantly, your interpretations of their words) and get down to the real message. What are they trying to communicate? Why are they saying these? What are their intentions? Are they really trying to be *ssholes or is it a different intention?
Behind their words may lie great insights. If you can get past the “how” and get down to the “what“, you gain access to valuable feedback for improvement. Two powerful things occur here:

1. Firstly, you are a step ahead in your journey of conscious living because you are no longer behaving in a reactive manner.
2. Secondly, you are literally more knowledgeable now you know the real intent of their feedback. This can be constructively used in your journey of self-improvement. Neither of these can happen if you are hung up over the criticism.

3. Don’t “Ask” for Opinions if You can’t take it

If you can’t take what the person has to say, then don’t ask for his/her opinion. This includes invitations for opinions, by virtue of just talking on the topic. Critical people like to dispense their opinions even where they are not asked, so just make sure you don’t mention it in front of them.
Some of my friends would complain about how their critical friends put them down all the time. Yet for some reason, they keep putting themselves in the receiving end of criticisms after that. In a way it’s probably done subconsciously for validation and acceptance, simply because it’s so hard to get encouragement from critical people.
However, the natural reaction of critical people is to criticize, not praise. So if you talk to them about something in hopes they will respond in enthusiasm and encouragement, stop doing it. You have seen their critical behavior in action before, so it shouldn’t surprise you if they continue to dish out criticisms at what you say. Albert Einstein would tell you that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of insanity, and he’s right. If you still insist on putting yourself in the same situation, then you really have no one else to blame but yourself!

4. Disengage from their Criticism / Ignore Them

Here’s an insightful story I’ve heard several times before, but never grow tired of:

Buddha was well known for his ability to respond to evil with good.  There was a man who knew about his reputation and he traveled miles and miles and miles to test Buddha. When he arrived and stood before Buddha, he verbally abused him constantly, he insulted him, he challenged him, he did everything he could to offend Buddha.
Buddha was unmoved, he simply turned to the man and said, “May I ask you a question?”
The man responded with “Well, what?”
Buddha said, “If someone offers you a gift and you decline to accept it to whom then does it belong?”
The man said, “Then it belongs to the person who offered it”
Buddha smiled, “That is correct.  So if I decline to accept your abuse does it not then still belong to you?”
The man was speechless and walked away.

Some people may voluntarily offer criticisms, even when you’re not asking for them. These criticisms may well be out of line and done in poor taste. One way you can respond is to retaliate in anger. However, since the person must have a lot of angst to be voluntarily dispensing criticisms in the first place, your retaliation will probably only invite more of such comments from him/her. No sooner will this become a heated, ugly debate with one another – one which is unlikely to end well.
As they say about online flaming – “Don’t feed the trolls”. If you can’t stop them from voicing their opinions, then you have an option of ignoring them. Give a simple 1-2 liner response, one that acknowledges receipt of the comment but doesn’t engage further in the discussion. And if the person presses on, then just ignore him/her altogether. At this point, it’s obvious that he/she wants to ignite a response in you. By not doing so, you maintain your locus of control of the situation.
Just as the critical people need to take responsibility for their comments, we have to take responsibility for receiving the negativity too. With every occurrence, there is always the event itself, and our perception of the event. We can’t change how people want to act or say around us, but we can change how we act around them. We always have a choice. If we don’t want to accept the negativity, then just don’t accept it. The negativity is not ours if we don’t take it.

5. Show Them Kindness

This may be a huge leap forward for some. You are probably wondering: “Why should I be kind to them? They are causing me so much anguish as it is. They most certainly don’t deserve me my kindness!”
I watched Peaceful Warrior about half a year ago, and there was a quote I really liked:

“The people who are the hardest to love are the ones who need it the most.”

I thought this is a very powerful quote. It’s true, isn’t it? If you think about it, why are the critical people so critical? Why is it so hard for them to be positive? Why are they so scarce with their emotions? It’s because they lack it themselves. This is why they are not able to offer it to others. And if they are so critical to others, chances are they treat themselves with the same, if not higher, level of criticalness. They aren’t even giving themselves the love they desire.
Treat them with kindness.  Help them out in areas you know they can benefit from your help. Get to know them personally.

6. Avoid Them
Where all else fails, simply avoid them altogether. Reduce contact, limit conversations with him/her, hang out with others if it’s a group outing, or as a last resort - cut him/her out of your life. I have a friend who is particularly critical. Being around her feels suffocating. No matter what I talk about, she’d have a way to add a negative slant. For example, if I’m sharing about something I’m excited over, she’d reply with some lackluster comment, about how it’s not such a big deal or it’s just normal. In our day-to-day conversations, she barely has anything encouraging or positive to say, choosing to focus on the “bad” things. Even when it comes to seeking solace, it’s hard to get an empathetic response. Half the time, I feel like I need to ready myself for a negative comment."

I hope today's lesson finds you well.